Whether you’ve visited this webpage because you’re worried about a mate, or because you need some support yourself, we’re glad you stopped by.
If you need urgent help now, please call 111 and dial option 2. This is the NHS helpline. It’s free, confidential and available 24/7.
Our campaign ‘You ok mate?’ is about getting men in Sandwell talking. Sharing how you’re feeling and reaching out for support is a brave step towards making things better.
Are you here because you need some support yourself?
We all have bad days, but recognising when you need support can be tricky. If you’re struggling, remember support is out there and it’s okay to ask for help.
Tough Enough to Care
Text ‘TOUGH’ to 85258 or visit toughenoughtocare.help
Sikh Helpline
03000 3000 63
or
07999 0043 63
www.sikhhelpline.com
NHS 111
Option 2, Mental Health Crisis Line
Lads, Let’s Chat
Thursdays, 12pm – 2pm
Vantage Point, Blacksmith Way, West Bromwich, B70 7SK
Call 0121 565 5605 or email info@kaleidoscopeplus.org.uk
Sanctuary Hub
The Kaleidoscope Sanctuary Hub at Hope Place, High Street, West Bromwich is open all week if you want to see someone face-to-face.
Monday – Friday: 6pm – 11pm
Saturday – Sunday: 12pm – 11pm
Call 0121 2896111
or 0800 008 6516 (24/7 Helpline) or email
hub@kaleidoscope plus.org.uk
Are you here because you’re worried about someone else?
Thank you for caring. It can be hard to spot when someone else isn’t ok, especially if they haven’t said that something’s up, but sometimes you get a gut feeling.
Maybe they’re quieter than normal, their routines have changed, they’re a bit withdrawn or becoming distant. It can be tricky to check in on someone – you might be worried they’ll get upset or that you’ll say the wrong thing.
Here’s some useful tips from CALM to get the conversation started.
You don’t need to be an expert to listen. Just showing that you care and are willing to be present with someone can make them feel less alone.
Create a safe space to have a conversation
Walk and talk:
Some people feel more comfortable talking while doing an activity they enjoy, so the focus doesn’t feel entirely on them.
How are you feeling?
Check in with yourself before the conversation and make sure you’re feeling calm, open and ready to listen.
Pick the right place:
Choose somewhere quiet with a relaxed atmosphere where the person will feel comfortable so you can talk without distractions.
How do I start the conversation?
On a scale of 1 to 10…
A simple way to check in with someone and kick off a conversation can be to ask how they are feeling on a scale of 1 to 10.
Check in on a problem they’ve spoken about before:
If you know they are struggling with a particular situation, like problems at work, you can use that as a starting point:
- How is work at the moment?
Tell them what you’ve noticed:
You could start the conversation by telling the person that you have noticed they don’t seem like themselves and that you’re worried about them, then you can ask what is bothering them:
- You don’t seem yourself lately, what’s going on?
- I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quiet - how are you?
- What’s happening for you?
What questions should I ask?
Use reassuring statements:
Be accepting and compassionate and validate the person’s feelings:
- No wonder you’re feeling anxious, it makes sense to feel…
- It sounds like things have been really tough for you
Ask ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions:
To better understand someone’s thoughts and feelings, start your question with what, who, when or how:
- When did you start feeling this way?
- What is challenging you at the moment?
- How are you managing/coping?
- Who else can you talk to about this?
Ask open questions:
Try not to ask yes/no questions as they can limit how much the other person can share.
It helps to show the other person that you’re interested in better understanding what they’re going through.
So instead of asking ‘do you need help?’ you could try asking ‘what help do you need?’
Try to avoid asking ‘why’ questions:
‘Why’ questions can sound judgemental and could put someone on the defensive.
Having to defend ourselves creates tension that stops the conversation from progressing forward.
Additional Support:
Help is out there, any time of the day or night.
If you or someone you care about needs help, please call 999 immediately.
You might also be interested in:
Suicide Prevention
If you need to talk to someone urgently about your mental health, you can find support here.
Activity Finder
Find local activities and meet new people. There’s something for everyone and activites taking place across Sandwell.